Drive like the Old Bill

      Here in West Norfolk we're fast approaching the season where potatoes, pumpkins, leeks, carrots, cabbages and sugar beet are being picked and the roads end up covered in clarts. What with farmers distributing mud and the weather adding rain, fog, ice and snow in the weeks to come it doesn't make for easy driving conditions.
      The patrol vehicle is about to be serviced, the turret greased and oiled and the boss' leather Russian Tank Commander's helmet thoroughly dubbined and waterproofed. When those tasks are completed then we'll be ready for whatever is thrown at us.
      While we wait for the inevitable inclement conditions we're reading up and testing one another with questions from 'Roadcraft, The Police Drivers Manual', price 3/6d.
      Believe me the evenings positively fly by when I'm dressed as Fabian of the Yard and sucking on my pipe and the boss has her Policewoman's uniform on.
      Right then my dear, where's the keys for the handcuffs then?
      What do you mean, you've lost them?