Austerity Christmas

Helpful tips. Part three

      This is the last of the Two Terriers' helpful tips and it's one for the man of the house. These two ideas, we hesitate to use the word concepts, are to bring a smile and a melting moment for the lady of the house. While she's out at the greengrocers sorting out the biggest sprouts or at the butchers selecting the finest bird, you get to work in the bedroom.
      With previously selected sticky back plastic that you've hidden in the shed and some wood-pattern wallpaper you can transform the room. Just imagine her surprise.

      Meanwhile back in the shed you are preparing the masterpiece, a cured otter skin that you are making into a fur stole for her. I'd better not go on too much or the boss will work out what is coming her way on Christmas day. I hope it isn't too greasy. Boy will it keep her warm up in the turret.
      If you can't get hold of otter skin go for road kill badger and make her a coat, absolutely perfect for a Newcastle United supporter.
      Just imagine what the little lady will say to you, well, after the initial surprise has worn off.