The 'collar of shame'

      There's no greater indignity for a Jack Russell Terrier than having to wear the 'collar of shame'. Last week Lucie was sterilised by our vet, we don't want to breed her so it seemed to be the fairest thing to do, but inevitably it entailed anaesthetic, stitches and then the recovery period which we are now half-way through.
      No proper walks through the orchards and down the droves with mud and muck because we have to keep the wound and stitches clean so until Saturday next it's solo walks for Barney. He doesn't understand why his partner in crime isn't there and why she can't come on the walk and she neither understands or listens to reason. But then she wouldn't.
      Terriers that feel perfectly fit don't do being calm and this is a Jack Russell that can jump the couch from a stationary standing start.
      Meanwhile she remains unimpressed. Seriously unimpressed. It does nothing for your dignity looking like a four-legged wok or a blue radar scanner and it's not even Norfolk Bog Door Blue either. The only compensation is that the blue collar shows the lightning flash of 736 Naval Air Squadron up beautifully.
      Please get this damn thing off me.
      Only when you stop licking the stitches.